Post by okie on Jun 25, 2019 12:15:04 GMT -6
I've had something itching at me for a while that I can't really talk about in some settings because it would kill my daughter to hear me talk about it in public. She's not on here so I'll share it here.
When I was in the beginning stages of divorce a bit less than a year ago I was torn. My faith was telling me to do everything I could to keep things together. I don't believe in divorce. I insisted on counseling. I begged her to stay. I lined up couples retreats for marriages in trouble that she refused. But the truth is, I wanted out. Every part of me wanted to be done. I stuck it out for a long time for my kids but I was sick of it.
My ex wife is a very manipulative person. I feel sorry for her. Her childhood was the type of stuff nightmares are made of. The kind of stuff we still sweep under the rug as a society because we're not strong enough to face it head on. I can't blame her for how she acted but it was miserable to live with and if she'd have been honest about it when we met I wouldn't have married her. She had everyone pretty well convinced that all of the problems in our marriage were my fault. She told everyone that divorce was my decision even though most of the town knew about it before I did.
On the night she finally got up the nerve to hand me papers she had been living in our guest area for over a month. She showed up with a moving truck and handed me paperwork.
I broke down after she left. I was a mess. I had my head down between my legs sobbing like a little girl praying. I begged the Lord to tell me what to do. The answer was as clear as any drill sergeant screaming in a private's face. He told me "STAND UP AND FIGHT... ONE MORE TIME!" so clearly that I shot up like I was ready for a fist fight.
I called her and told her I wasn't signing SHIT and if she wanted a divorce she was going to have to force it.
The response was nothing short of demonic. My phone would ring and it was her screaming. Then she would hang up and start texting. I finally shut my phone off and woke up the next morning to see that it had ended at around 3AM. But, I knew when I woke up that I had done what I was asked to do. The relief was instant and obvious. I signed papers that morning.
I had an overwhelming sense at that time that God had something planned for me.
Fast forward a month and I see a wave on facebook from a woman that I haven't spoken to in five years. She had dated a friend of mine for a while but they weren't a fit. Turns out she had sent the first message to my ex wife on the very day that she was moving out and had been trying to reach us every since and finally got through to me. Turns out her daughter was moving right in my back yard! They didn't know anyone here and she wanted to see if I could meet up with them and help them feel welcome which of course I agreed to.
We messaged back and forth a few times talking about her kids and life here in Oklahoma. We got along really well.
I was trying my damndest to get a date. I was interested in anything from twenty to forty. It just seemed to fall apart as fast as I could get things lined up. This woman and I were just friends helping her kids. Then one day I called her and said I'd be coming right through her area of California to see my parents and I could meet her kids and introduce myself.
When she and I met, we knew...
Six months later I'm proud to announce my engagement. I never even made it on a date with anyone else. The Lord knew exactly what I needed and he not only handed it right to me but guided me from temptation in spite of my stupid self.
When I was in the beginning stages of divorce a bit less than a year ago I was torn. My faith was telling me to do everything I could to keep things together. I don't believe in divorce. I insisted on counseling. I begged her to stay. I lined up couples retreats for marriages in trouble that she refused. But the truth is, I wanted out. Every part of me wanted to be done. I stuck it out for a long time for my kids but I was sick of it.
My ex wife is a very manipulative person. I feel sorry for her. Her childhood was the type of stuff nightmares are made of. The kind of stuff we still sweep under the rug as a society because we're not strong enough to face it head on. I can't blame her for how she acted but it was miserable to live with and if she'd have been honest about it when we met I wouldn't have married her. She had everyone pretty well convinced that all of the problems in our marriage were my fault. She told everyone that divorce was my decision even though most of the town knew about it before I did.
On the night she finally got up the nerve to hand me papers she had been living in our guest area for over a month. She showed up with a moving truck and handed me paperwork.
I broke down after she left. I was a mess. I had my head down between my legs sobbing like a little girl praying. I begged the Lord to tell me what to do. The answer was as clear as any drill sergeant screaming in a private's face. He told me "STAND UP AND FIGHT... ONE MORE TIME!" so clearly that I shot up like I was ready for a fist fight.
I called her and told her I wasn't signing SHIT and if she wanted a divorce she was going to have to force it.
The response was nothing short of demonic. My phone would ring and it was her screaming. Then she would hang up and start texting. I finally shut my phone off and woke up the next morning to see that it had ended at around 3AM. But, I knew when I woke up that I had done what I was asked to do. The relief was instant and obvious. I signed papers that morning.
I had an overwhelming sense at that time that God had something planned for me.
Fast forward a month and I see a wave on facebook from a woman that I haven't spoken to in five years. She had dated a friend of mine for a while but they weren't a fit. Turns out she had sent the first message to my ex wife on the very day that she was moving out and had been trying to reach us every since and finally got through to me. Turns out her daughter was moving right in my back yard! They didn't know anyone here and she wanted to see if I could meet up with them and help them feel welcome which of course I agreed to.
We messaged back and forth a few times talking about her kids and life here in Oklahoma. We got along really well.
I was trying my damndest to get a date. I was interested in anything from twenty to forty. It just seemed to fall apart as fast as I could get things lined up. This woman and I were just friends helping her kids. Then one day I called her and said I'd be coming right through her area of California to see my parents and I could meet her kids and introduce myself.
When she and I met, we knew...
Six months later I'm proud to announce my engagement. I never even made it on a date with anyone else. The Lord knew exactly what I needed and he not only handed it right to me but guided me from temptation in spite of my stupid self.
